Terrify Your Neighbors With this Trojan Easter Bunny DIY Idea
Note: This article is a work of satire. The writing and editing staff of See It Do It does not condone terrorizing your neighborhood with a large wooden Easter golem, though we do acknowledge that it would be hilarious if you did. Please send plenty of pictures if you do.
From concept to implementation.
A Trojan Easter Bunny is sometimes the only way to resolve your differences with a difficult neighbor. Bill Comstock hasn’t been pruning his hedges like you talked about, and enough is enough. The time has come for action. We have put together a DIY craft idea to help you put an end to your dispute using a combination of Greek war subterfuge and holiday cheer.
This should be a fun project for any novice to expert maker, easily completed in about 6 months or 1-2 days if you have 30-40 Greek warriors to assist in fabrication. If our DIY TV Wall Mount project was a difficulty level of 2, we’d rate this at a 6.
Disclaimer: You should check your local zoning ordinances and Homeowners’ Association guidelines before starting the project to ensure that this massive Easter Bunny construct doesn’t violate the rule of law.
A Noble Pedigree
The Trojan horse is an iconic symbol representing ingenuity and industry in equal measure. Utilized by the Ancient Greeks to push through a siege that had lasted years with no satisfaction, you can employ your bunny version to similarly break that jerk Comstock’s bad lawn care habits. All that he will see coming is the great shadow of a comical bunny descending on his driveway, both gift and curse.
The final build should leave plenty of space for you and your trusty hedge trimmers, along with a loyal band of Greek Myrmidons out of myth and legend. While he may not appreciate the gift now blocking his garage, it’s unlikely that he will have his own tractor trailer to remove it. This plan cannot fail.
Required Materials
1,499,996 more of these
- 1,500,000 Popsicle® sticks (with jokes)
- 1 fifty gallon drum Elmer’s glue
- 1 child’s plastic hand saw
- 1 French castle to infiltrate
- 1 pair of hedge trimmers
- 30-35 Greek Warriors
- 1 tractor trailer
- 1 copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Do It Yourself Trojan Bunny Craft Steps
1. Eat 1,500,000 Popsicles
This one is relatively self-explanatory. You will need to acquire 1,500,000 popsicle sticks, and this is the most expedient and tasty method. The only alternative we are aware of is chopping down trees and then using a routing table to meticulously gather anywhere from 3-5 popsicle sticks per tree. This seems somewhat wasteful and time-consuming.
2. Pile All Of Your Noble Greek Honor Guard Into Your Bunny
Now that you have carefully constructed your Trojan Easter Bunny, it’s time to suit up for war. We found the most successful approach was to pile all of your Myrmidon warriors in first, then hand them their shields and spears. This can help to reduce incidents of injury.
Snug as a bug in a rug
3. Transport & Infiltration
Using your tractor trailer to move the multi-ton War Rabbit into position in front of Bill’s disgusting and unkempt front yard. You will then need to get in yourself (don’t forget your shears or hedge trimmers, or this whole thing will be one giant boondoggle). Make sure to keep your laughter muffled when Comstock begins cursing up a storm about this Easter miracle sitting on his property.
Your doom approaches, Comstock
4. Get to Trimming
When night falls, emerge safely under cover of darkness to trim that eyesore of a yard. If you had the foresight to arm your Greek warriors with additional trimmers, all the better. Otherwise they will have to act as lookouts or fight off Comstock’s contingent of Trojan defenders.
Congratulations! It was a challenging project, but well worth it to beautify your street once more. We hope you enjoyed this April Fool’s DIY project as much as we did writing it.
Disclaimer: All names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No bunnies, neighbors, or Greek Warriors were harmed in the writing of this story.
